Chicago Gun Violence

On twitter this mornings I found these tribune headlines. 

Colorado shooting families blast fundraising charities. Cops wound gunman after fatal shooting in Gresham neighborhood. Yesterday Facebook friend Jerry posted. Afraid of Belfast on the 12th of July. "I'm from the South Side of Chicago -- I'll be safer in Belfast." So I got to thinking. How did we get here? In 1783 An american army comprised largely of militias chased the english back to england. In 1791 congress passed the Second amendment to the constitution. The second amendment guaranteed americans the right to bear arms in support of militias. In 1920 congress passed the eightheenth amendment starting prohibition. In 1933 To stem the lawlessness of prohibition the eighteenth amendment was repealed. In 1934 and 38 new federal firearms laws were enacted. In 2008 and 2010 new Supreme Court interpretations bolstered the second ammendment and dramatically diminished the authority of state and local governments to limit gun ownership. And here it 2012. Last weekend in Chicago 46 people were shot. Nine fatally. Congress has reacted to gangsterism in the past. History repeats itself.






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Prayer for Hurricane Isaac

And now. Let us pray. 


Dear lord. Please strengthen Hurricane Isaac into to a Category five hurricane. And guide Issac to those motherfuckers . In Tampa at the Repulican National Convention. Oh and Lord. Please show mercy toward Tampa's many strippers and strip clubs And please spare Tampa's Democrat mayor, and all-Democrat city council.

 Amen.







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Street Art Jumped The Shark

When street art started it was really cool.


Banksy was doing his thing in London. Space invader was plastering up his little tiles. Obey was posting little handbills on traffic poles. But then it started becoming comercial. Then the hats started coming out. And now street art has completely jumped the shark. Microsoft has a new add campaign for surface. It's their new tablet. Which looks pretty cool. I guess it makes sense. Advertisting is temporary. Exactly like street art.






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Pink Slime

Your internet home for trending news and events. Oh, this is so sick. As if fast food wasn't bad enough  70 % of American ground beef contains pink slime What's pink slime. Pink slime is rendered fat. Pressure treated. Centrifuged. Then processed with gaseous ammonia. To kill the germs. It's a super cheap filler. They add the pink paste to ground beef to make it more colorful. It's added to 70 % of restaurant and supermarket ground beef. And guess what. The FDA signed off on this. Pink slime is considered beef, No special label no nothing. No more ground beef for me.




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Rush Limbaugh with Sluts & Hookers

Well well well -  Rush Limbaugh. Called Sandra Fluke a Slut. Oh yeah. She's so hot. Rush - Sandra Fluke is not a slut. You want a slut. There's lot's of sluts out there. But a Georgetown law student? Come on.

Oh and Rush also called Sandra Fluke a prostitute. Yeah, that's not what prostitutes look like. Prostitutes are a little skankier. They hang out on corners at night. They're giving out blowjobs in cars. You're not gonna find many prostitutes down at the Georgetown Law Center

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300 Million Year Old Forest

A 300 million year old fossilized forest has been found by miners in northern China. The forest was buried in a Pompei like volcanic eruption. Archeologist have unearthed intact specimines of 300 million year old fossilized trees. The trees are said to be very well preserved. Since the earths climate 300 million years ago was similar  to today's. Comparing the fossil record with that of modern flora and fauna. Provides an insite into the earth's climate cycles.

To give you an idea of how old 300 Million is: The earth was formed 4.5 billion years ago. Single cell organism's formed 3.8 billion years ago, hotosynthesis first occured 3 billion years ago. Simple animals first appeared 600 million years ago. Fish first appeared 500 million years ago Plants appeared 475 million years ago. 300 million years ago when the volcano errupted. Reptiles were just starting to walk on land. 65 million years ago the dinosaurs died out. 2.5 million years ago cavemen appeared. 200,000 years ago modern humans appeared. And a little over 2000 years ago christ died for our sins.
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Avalanche Airbag - Mardi Gras Fat Tuesday

In Washington state three skiers got killed in an Avalanche. One lady didn't get killed. Cause she was wearing an Avalanche Airbag. So I got to thinking, why doesn't every skier wear an Airbag? Maybe they are too expensive. Hey. I could start an airbag rental store. But then I live in Chicago. Not many Avalanche's here.

Tommorrow is Fat Tuesday. Concluding the Mardi Gras season. Which includes weeks of parades. Balls. Beads. and Parties. After Mardi Gras people can hunker down for Lent.






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Chink in the Armour is Rascist - RIP Madonna

Trending on Twitter, Ooooohhhhh. Somebody at ESPN is gonna get fired. Last night ESPN turned the Jeremy Lin story racist. The knicks finally lost one with Jeremy Lin. And what headline does ESPN post online? There is a Chink in the Armour. Dude. Really? You think you can call an Asian man a Chink?




Also trending on Twitter.Are you ready to rummmmmble? Rrrraaawwww. There's an online catfight going on. Lady Gaga fans are tweeting RIP Modonna. Maybe they're upset cause Modonna got all of the attention at the superbowl.And lady Gaga got nada at the grammies. Anyway. Gotta love a good catfight.


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Replace Film Titles With Vagina - Ghost Rider

Yep trending on Twitter morning is replace film title with vagina. Oh this one is freaking hilarious. So here goes. My big fat greek vagina. 
Terminator - Rise of the vagina. Charlie and the Chocolate vagina. The old Clint Eastwood movie: A Fist Full of - vagina. Edward Vaginahands. 


Ghost Rider - Spirit of Vengeneance opens this weekend. The Tomatometer at Rotten Tomatoes is at 10%. Yahoo User Reviews trend toward Bad. And I usually trust yahoo users more than critics. Ok so I like the first Ghost Rider movie. This one I think I wait for it on Netflix. So thanks for stopping by.


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Heart Attack Grill - Daytona 500

A man suffered a heart attack at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas. He was chowing down a 6,000-calorie Triple Bypass Burger. The owner of the place refers 
to himself as Doctor. His servers are called nurses. Customers are refered to as patients. Orders are prescriptions. Maybe the cook is called the mortician!


This time of year sucks. Football is over. I don't watch college hoops. Pro basket ball heats up and the bulls are doing good.But it's not football. Nascar starts this weekend with the Daytona 500. Yawn. Not.










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Kate Upton Sports Illustrated Swimsuit - Valentines Day

The Sports Illustrated cover girl was announced today in New York. Her name is Kate Upton. Looks like it's a little chilly out there. Oh come on. She doesn't need that jacket!


This is a great valentines day. Cause I'm single. And believe me. This is by design. When I can do it. I take this time off from dating. Cause let's face it.Guys hate Valentines day. I'm sitting pretty. No flowers to buy. No chocolates to wrap. Yep. Pause. I'm so loney!







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Jeremy Lin - Shakira Sea Lion

It's Linsane. It's Linsanity.Jeremy Lin is an overnight sensation. In Taiwan they are crazy for him. They're packing the bars at 8 in the morning to see him play. He's asian American. Grew up in North Carolina. Played college ball at Harvard, so he's pretty smart. He's a gym rat. He was dropped by both golden state and houston. before being picked up by the Knicks. Where he sat on the bench. Until the knicks coach said why not. And he put him in. Since then he's been on fire. He's averaged 27 points and 11 assists in the last 6 games. Those numbers are lincredibly good. The Knicks has been a Lincrease in attention. I think I'm getting Lindigestion.


Shakira was on vacation in South Africa. While visiting the ocean she came upon a group of Sea Lions. She tought they were cute. So she decided to go pet one. Not a good idea. She got about a foot away. When mama sealion shot out of the ocean and snapped our tourist. Shakira claims the sealion mistook her Blackberry for fish food. Ok hold on. Since when do blackberrys look like a fish? Shakira is a rock star. What's she doing with a Blackberry? Should'nt she have an iPhone? 


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